Chapter 13: Please Spare Me

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T/N: Okay, first some clarifications about yesterday’s chapter. In English, we sometimes call women, chicks. In Chinese, women are sometimes birds, which you probably could have guessed from the little bird relying on people adverb clause that keeps showing up.
Next up is the case of KFC and McDonald’s in China. If you’re not interested, skip down to the chapter. I have not researched this but it’s something I’ve heard in the form of gossip from friends in China. Not sure of accuracy. KFC used to be the thing, the earliest and most liked fast food in China. Then along came McD and the others but KFC had a head start. Unfortunately, KFC decided to try and cater to the locals so its menu incorporated Chinese tastes. That turned out to be a huge misstep in its marketing strategy. If you cater to local tastes in North America, they’ll be happy about it, but in China, that depends on whether you were originally Chinese. They like their foreign stuff to be more expensive and more foreign. Anyhow, that made the locals think it’s not genuine foreign fast food, so KFC lost popularity. McD won by sticking to its traditional tactics. Some Chinese people feel McD is more foreign than KFC, hence better as you can see with the ice cream. Whether or not the ice cream is really made from foreign ingredients isn’t that important. Honestly, if KFC tried to turn into a middle class restaurant like Pizza Hut instead of Chinese styled fast food, they would have had more success. Sadly, Pizza Hut in China is superior to 90% of our family restaurants over here. Oh well.

After Su Chan finished speaking, Li Yundong fell off of his chair with a thump. He laughed so hard that he almost died. The face of the girl playing the role of Ronald McDonald froze as if it had turned to stone. She laughed drily a couple times.

There was a short silence inside the McDonald’s, then uproarious laughter suddenly burst out.

Su Chan looked left and right at a loss. She realized she said the wrong thing once more. So she sat down with her face full of grievance. Internally, she mutter to herself, ‘I didn’t say anything wrong. In the cultivation world, if there’s this kind of situation with thirteen people fighting over eight magical treasures, wouldn’t they kill off five of them first?’

She sat on her seat, being laughed at so hard that she didn’t even know where to place her hands*. Her lips were so pouted that you could hang an ornament on it. Her eyes glittered with tears. Her head hung low like a young wife who had suffered more than her fill of bullying.

Li Yundong laugh for a good while. As he rubbed at his aching belly, he smiled and said, “Hurry and eat. Don’t say any more. The more you say, the more mistakes you make.”

Su Chan made an aggrieved ‘ah’ sound and transformed her sorrow into appetite. She fiercely started taking her anger on her hamburger, devouring it in only two or three bites.

Li Yundong waited until she finished her food, then he pulled Su Chan along and left the McDonald’s.

The two walked along a big street. Along the way, every time Li Yundong recalled what happened earlier, he could not help but laugh so hard that his body sway to and fro. Su Chan kept her head down and followed behind Li Yudong. Her face blushed a deep red.

When they reached home, Su Chan suddenly stopped in place. She raised her head. Her eyes glimmered full of teardrops. “Am I actually really stupid?”

Li Yundong received a frightful shock. ‘This girl is tragic. Those mind twisters actually made her start doubting her own intelligence.’

Li Yundong realized that he laughed too much, evidently he had hurt the girl’s self-esteem. He hurriedly consoled her, “You’re not dumb. It’s just these questions are too tricky. They’re originally made for playing jokes. You’re really smart. Truly.”

Su Chan’s eyes were hazy with tears. “You’re lying.”

Li Yundong hurried to swear an oath, “If I’m lying to you then let lightning strike five times!”

Upon hearing Li Yundong’s oath, Su Chan immediately believed him. In the cultivation world, there’s nothing mightier than letting lightning strike down five times. She sniffled a bit and wiped at her tears. “Okay, I believe you.”

Li Yundong immediately released a sigh of relief, “That’s right. Our family’s Su Chan is both beautiful and smart. She’s practically the embodiment of beauty and intellect. How could she be stupid?”

Su Chan turned her grief into happiness and said, “Who belongs to your family? Stinky shameless fellow!”

Su Chan revealed a bashfulness that seemed both displeased and delighted. Her behavior made Li Yundong’s heart beat with eagerness. For a time, he stared at that supremely beautiful face somewhat infatuated.

Su Chan also looked at Li Yundong with ardent eyes. Not knowing why, she also seemed a bit besotted.

The two stared at each other. A haze of ambiguity that caused hearts to titillate rippled through the air, a little ticklish, a little warm.

A strong impulse suddenly welled up inside Li Yundong to embrace the girl, to kiss her lightly, to kiss her more, to dote on her, and to love her, but he did not dare. He feared that the girl before him was a majestic and sublime bubble. If he reached out, she would pop and disappear, never to be seen again.

Su Chan stared at Li Yundong fixedly, inching closer bit by bit. The unique fragrance of a girl’s body slowly filtered into his senses, as if a secret scent was drifting in the surroundings, causing Li Yundong’s mouth and tongue to dry.

Li Yundong felt like something inside his heart was beginning to stir, awaiting something might happen, and moreover desiring to do something now.

Just as the moment he was preparing to put his thoughts into action was at hand, Su Chan whose breath was like orchids, looked at him with her enormous eyes that were bright and shining. She asked, “Can I ask you a question?”

Li Yundong used all his strength to swallow a mouthful of saliva. His heart beat like a drum. He stammered out his answer, “What do you want to ask?”

Su Chan blinked her eyes. “So in the end, why did that bird die of stupidity?”

Li Yundong was speechless. “…”

Su Chan watched flabbergasted as a silent and speechless Li Yundong turned around and started banging his head against the wall. She asked, “What happened to you?”

On the inside, Li Yundong had tears all over his face. “Nothing.”

There were no afternoon classes today. Li Yundong stayed in the living room staring blankly into space, thinking everything that happened in the last few days. The little fox would stay at his side and pester him continuously for the enlightenment about “why that bird died of stupidity” without accepting any compromise.

This situation continued until the evening. Li Yundong laid down on the furry carpet. His head rested on his hands. He closed his eyes and engaged in thought. ‘Today’s event was truly scary but luckily there was no mishap. Why was I suddenly so strong? Strong enough that I could actually climb to the fourth floor?

‘If this were before, I would not even dare to imagine doing something like that!

‘Could it be that the presence of a beauty stimulated all of my potential?

‘En, this is possible, after all, there is no viable explanation!

‘I can’t go on like this. I need to learn some fighting skills. Otherwise, I’ll definitely be chased around by people in the future.’

Li Yundong understood very clearly in his mind. It did not matter for his past self but now that a calamity in the form of Su Chan this cause-the-fall-of-a-nation grade beauty was by his side, so long as he did not have the ability to protect himself, he would definitely suffer.

Thinking of this, Li Yundong felt that he should go to the Taekwondo society.

‘Taekwondo should be a decent choice. Even though Tiannan University had many societies, the Taekwondo society was the only society of the striking technique type. Furthermore, due to the presence of Zhao Yujian this super school prince, beauties gather in this society like clouds. It can be said that the collection of beauties there will gradually enchant any watcher’s eyes.

‘Moreover, Taekwondo was easy to earn. It also looked nice. At that time, Su Chan would also support me, right?’

As various thoughts went through his head, Li Yundong flipped over preparing to go to sleep. However, his face suddenly felt a little itchy as if it were touching something hairy or furry.

Li Yundong opened his eyes to take a peek. He suddenly received a frightful shock.

He could see Su Chan crouched in front of him. Three thousand black threads hung like a waterfall. She was hugging a pillow and in the darkness of night, here pair of extremely black eyes seemed abstruse like gemstones.

Li Yundong spoke in startlement, “What are you doing here? How come I didn’t hear you coming?”

The little fox giggled. She blinked her eyes and asked, “Yundong, I still don’t understand, why did that bird die of stupidity?”

Li Yundong sighed in sorrow. He grabbed the pillow at his side and used it to cover up his face. “Please spare me!”

The next day, Li Yundong woke up with two largeblack circles around his eyes. The little fox Su Chan had pestered him all night with her question. No matter what kind of explanation Li Yundong gave, the little fox remained discontented and desired more satisfactory answer.

“How painful. I really want to sleep…” Li Yundong hugged his pillow and rolled around on the carpet.

The little fox Su Chan on the other hand had changed her clothes early in the morning. She even sat on the bed and cultivated, circulating two microcosmos. Then with unimpeded spirit and balanced qi, she walked out of the bedroom.

She squatted down in front of Li Yundong and asked in puzzlement, “What happened to you? Don’t you need to go to the learning hall today?”

Li Yundong moaned. He corrected Su Chan, “It’s go to school, not go to the learning hall. Do you know what era this is? And you’re still saying learning hall!”

Su Chan made an affirmative sound. She took a careful look at the dark circles under Li Yundong’s eyes. “You didn’t rest well last night?”

Li Yundong ousted himself into sitting position in one go. He pretended to be nonchalant. “What are you talking about? I am full of vigor and energy, lively and spirited. I can beat a tiger if I go to the mountains and capture a dragon if I go to the sea!”

Su Chan covered her mouth and chuckled. “Your mouth stinks.”

Li Yundong’s face fell at once. He walked to the bathroom to clean up.

After messing around for a good while, the two left the apartment.

Li Yundong had just entered the school gate when he discovered a lot of people pointing at him, as if he had a flower on his face.

Li Yundong rubbed at his cheek and asked, “What’s with me?”

Su Chan looked at Li Yundong seriously and answered, “Your eye sockets are sunken. Your glabella is blackened…”

Before she had finished speaking, Li Yundong interrupted her and said, “Screw! My glabella is blackened, am I going to die?”

Su Chan said, “When the heart and the kidney are not circulating properly this happens. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll die.”

Li Yundong rolled his eyes.

This morning was another lecture class. Li Yundong brought the little fox along with him and sat in the back row just like before. During this class, there were guys and girls looking back constantly. This time, their gazes fell more often on Li Yundong as opposed to the little fox, Su Chan.

Li Yundong could faintly pick out from their their whispers phrases like “parkour emperor”, “leaping on roofs and vaulting over walls”, “bullshit” and so on.

There were even people secretly discussing the black circles under his eyes, “he was definitely going at it too much”, “immoderate desires”, and other such phrases could be heard nonstop.

Toward these discussion, Li Yundong did not possess too much awareness, because he felt he was too tired and so sleepy that he wanted to die.

The parkour from yesterday caused him to consume a large amount of physical power. Even though he absorbed the Gold Pill energy, but before he transforms the Gold Pill primordial yang into his own primordial qi** and then successfully achieves indestructible gold body, his physical body would still experience fatigue and feel weariness.

After a while, Li Yundong groggily slipped into sleep on his seat.

The little fox Su Chan saw that he fell asleep so she acted on her own initiative and stood up. Walking behind the back row, she once again exhibited the tri-prong blossom technique to help Li Yundong circulate his qi through massage.

This kind of microcosmo qi circulation method was exceptional for alleviating the body’s weariness. Su Chan’s five fingers danced, repeatedly massaging and gently kneading the Tianzhu, Chengling, Fengchi, Yuzhen, and various other acupoints on Li Yundong’s head.

Her warm and gentle caring demeanor caused the eyes of every surrounding guy who took a look to go red without exception. Their hearts were resentful to the point of gnashing their teeth. ‘Us brothers are still single. This bachelor for eight lifetimes actually shows off like this. How hateful!”

This time, Su Chan had already finished her massage by the time Li Yundong woke up from his dreams. He also did not emit any moaning sounds that gave people chills.

All the way until class let out, the little fox stayed peacefully at Li Yundong’s side. She also did not create any trouble. Apparently, yesterday’s event really affected her.

After school, Li Yundong walked toward the Taekwondo society. The little fox also followed docilely at his side.

The Taekwondo society was on the second floor of the multimedia building, on the west side of the university.

Upon entering the building, Li Yundong saw a bunch of copper signs hung by the doorway, one of which read “Tiannan City Taekwondo Association, Tiannan University Society”.

In the past when Li Yundong was still a freshman, there used to be a karate society. However, unfortunately, it was struck down by the Taekwondo society president, Zhao Yujian. Since then, it was forced to disband.

School prince Zhao Yujian rose to fame in that one battle, possessing countless fans in Tiannan University.

Li Yundong had stayed at Tiannan University for almost two years, but he had never been here. After entering the building, he looked around. The first floor belonged to the music society. The sound of music could be faintly heard from the various music rooms. The pretty girls who came and went were mostly beauties from the art department. Each of them had graceful figures and picturesque features.

If it were under normal circumstances, perhaps Li Yundong would stand by the doorway drooling uncontrollably and then get looked down upon by the beauties.

But now that he had a calamity class little fox by his side, Li Yundong truly did not have any regard for these beauties, each of whom he would have considered top class in the past.

This could only be described as a type of nouveau riche mentality.

When these beauties who were coming and going saw Su Chan by Li Yundong’s side, their eyes all revealed intense shock and amazement without exception. And when they sized up Li Yundong, their gazes were full of inquisitiveness and perplexity.

‘Why is there a beautiful woman like this following after an ordinary looking guy who did not possess any special charisma like that?’

~~~

* I think the author made a typo and actually meant face, but if not, I’m interpreting it the best I can.

** 真元 zhenyuan – primordial qi: depending on the novel, this can be the same thing as zhenqi (essential qi in this translation) or it could be something else like a generalize category (for example immortals have zhenqi and demons have yaoqi) or even a condensed superior type of qi compared to zhenqi. So for now, it’s just ‘primordial qi’. Though if too many of these xiuzhen terms show up in the future, I’ll be forced to transliterate instead and keep all the zhenqi zhenyuan, zhenyang, yuanyang, etc. etc. in their original forms. But that would be confusing for you guys, so I hope it doesn’t come down to that.

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She’ll pester you till you give in.

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6 thoughts on “Chapter 13: Please Spare Me

  1. I guess he did not tell the litle fox that he was planning to get into the club to learn how to fight.
    Or else she would die fron anger.

    Like

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