Chapter 21: The More You Touch, The Blacker It Gets

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T/N: Here’s chapter 21. Warning, Li Yundong is verbally cruel this chapter. Please look for mistakes. The title means the more you explain something, the guiltier you seem. As a Canadian, I’m used to seeing dryly and typing it too. But these days, I started typing drily for no good reason. I can’t understand why. Well my autocorrect removes the u from color too, so maybe it’s that.

All the students in the classroom plus the teacher were so excited that they seemed like they were on stimulants. Their eyes glanced back and forth between Li Yundong and Feng Nuo.

Unfortunately, a little earlier, Feng Nuo had been provoked by Su Chan, her thoughts were a bit chaotic. Plus Li Yundong refused to admit his wrongs. She was already in a bad mood. As if there were no people around, she loudly said, “How could you be like this? Don’t you have a sense of responsibility? Yesterday, you made a big mess. Today, do you think you can pretend that nothing’s happened just because you left?”

‘Made a big mess!’

The classroom went into a hubbub.

The pure male students had all widened their eyes as they looked at Feng Nuo. They exclaimed in admiration, “How fierce! How bold! Truly someone worthy of being our senior!”

As for those innocent and naïve female students, they covered their mouths and glared at Li Yundong, “Too over the top. Too heartless. How could this fellow be like this!”

Those not so pure male students exchanged meaningful eye gestures with each other. They laughed a vulgar laugh that only men could understand. The lecherous sound of this laughter could make celebrities from the island nation jealous.

Some of the more rotten women*1 were even more fierce. They directly started chattering and discussing with each other, “A battle between dragon and pheonix? 3P? Or possibly, could it be… yaoi or yuri?”

At this time, no matter how dumb Li Yundong might actually be, he had sensed something was wrong. He looked at the various gazes he received from the surrounding. He moaned mournfully and placed his face into his palms. “I say. Beauty, look around you. Don’t you think there’s something wrong with what you’re saying?”

Feng Nuo looked left and right. She finally regained her wits. The color of her face escalated, becoming even more red. She prudently said, “Then let’s stop for now. We’ll discuss this somewhere else.”

This time, the classmates in the classroom were unwilling to accept. They rose as a mob. “Don’t go somewhere else. This place is pretty good!”

“Senior sis, in front of the public, you can expose the true face of this Chen Shimei! Senior sis, we support you!”

“That’s right, senior sis. We want the truth!”

While there was a commotion on this side. Suddenly a distinctly resounding voice shouted out, “Give us pictures! Give us photos!”

Everyone turned around to take a look when they heard this voice, only to see the teacher standing on the lectern shouting himself hoarse. The students below the lectern were silent for a bit. They used meaningful gazes to look at the teacher.

This teacher did not get stage fright. He arranged his clothes and spoke in a unruffled manner, “No picture, no real facts, isn’t that right?”

The students suddenly realized something. They all started loudly shouting, “We want pictures, we want facts!”

There was even a senseless person who shouted, “We want seed!”

When this voice surfaced, all the students in the classroom laughed until they were unsteady on the feet. The teacher directly stopped holding class. He also laughed until he crouched on the lectern, very much enjoying the show.

Li Yundong wanted to vomit three liters of blood. There was so much hate in his heart!

‘This bunch of wretches are afraid that the world isn’t chaotic enough! This dog-spawned diploma mill. How could even a teacher—his mother—decide not to be serious. This is truly a case of subordinates imitating their superior’s vices.*2’

Li Yundong pulled Feng Nuo and escaped outside the classroom as if he were running for his life. The little fox Su Chan obediently followed from behind.

Feng Nuo’s entire person was dragged along by Li Yundong completely bewildered, like a wooden puppet. The classroom behind them was like a boiling pot of rice porridge, chaotic to the point of explosion, with a clamoring din.

Just as they left the classroom, the wind in the hallway blew on Feng Nuo causing her to shudder and only then did her mind clear. She shook off Li Yundong’s hand and angrily said, “Why are you pulling me!”

Li Yundong also angrily responded, “Do you think I want to pull you? Think about what you said inside the classroom. What was that supposed to be?”

Feng Nuo recollected what she said inside the classroom. Internally, she already knew they were inappropriate, but for the sake of argument, she refused to admit defeat. “Wasn’t that because I was angered by the beauty next to you?”

Su Chan noticed that the flame of battle had fallen on her head. She puffed up her cheeks and said, “I haven’t said anything wrong, right?”

Li Yundung saw that the two beauties intended to be diametrically opposed. His head immediately hurt like someone was fighting inside. He hurriedly tried to smooth over the issue. “Enough. Enough. Now is not the time to pursue this issue. Senior classmate Feng Nuo, you and I had no grudge before and we have no grudge now. Really, what do you need me for? What is so important?”

Feng Nuo angrily said, “You punched Zhao Yujian into a hospital bed and he can’t get off. In seven days, what will the Taekwondo Society do? His program was the highlight of our university’s performance.

Li Yundong smiled bitterly and said, “What does that have to do with me? Can’t you just find someone else to replace him?”

Feng Nuo laughed satirically, “Find someone to replace him? The only person with enough qualification and ability to replace him was Zeng Qing, who has also been injured by you to the point of being unable to get out of bed. What replacement is there?”

Li Yundong’s eyes were staring into the distance. “It can’t be. Then what will we do?”

Feng Nuo put one hand on her waist and demonstrated a big teapot pose using the other. “What will we do? What else can we do? Obviously the person who caused the problem will take responsibility!”

Li Yundong dazed said, “The person who caused the problem?”

He understood in a flash. He jumped up and said, “You want me to replace Zhao Yujian to attend the exchange?”

Feng Nuo’s expression seemed to say this child can be taught. “That’s right. That’s right. Just like that!”

Li Yundong loudly stated, “No way! I don’t know taekwondo!”

Feng Nuo saw that he wanted to run away. She hastily grabbed Li Yundong’s arm. “You already defeated Zhao Yujian. You’ve surely done martial arts before. There’s no reason that you can’t replace him, right?”

Li Yundong gave a bitter smile and said, “If I trained in martial arts before, I wouldn’t have been suppressed so badly by Zhao Yujian, right? That was a coincidence—coincidence, you know. Ai. Hurry up and let go. Think of what it will look like to other!”

Feng Nuo tightened her grip even more. “I refuse to let go! You need to agree to help first! This is a problem that you yourself caused. Are you really not going to take responsibility?”

Li Yundong was so anxious that his back was soaked with sweat. In the hallway, all the students and teachers passing by were staring at them. He suddenly pointed in a random direction and shouted, “Screw! Look there! It’s a plane!”

Feng Nuo gave a cold smile and said, “Do you think this kind of childish trick can fool me?”

A bitter smile occupied Li Yundong’s face. “I really don’t know taekwondo. If you make me the replacement, for me to lose face is only a small matter. But if the school loses face, then it’s a big matter.

Feng Nuo was startled. Her hand subconsciously loosened from Li Yundong’s arm. “You really don’t know?”

Li Yundong with a face full of sincerely stated, “Yesterday, I really wanted to go to the Taekwondo Society to learn taekwondo. However, I didn’t think I would get such a heated welcome, leading to those events. I also didn’t want that to happen! In the end, is it right for you to drive me like a duck onto a perch?”*3

Feng Nuo seriously looked at Li Yundong, trying to determine the authenticity of his words. After a long time, she said with a resentful face, “You win for now! I’ll let you go. However, don’t feel too proud, this is not the end.”

Li Yundong bowed both with his hands in front and again with his hands at his sides. “Please, little grand aunt, stop tormenting me. Look for yourself!”

With those words, Li Yundong pointed to the window of the classroom.

Feng Nuo turned her head for a look and she started in fright!

Woah! There were densely packed heads lined up behind the window! Some of those faces were so pressed up against the window that they were deformed.

Feng Nuo sucked in a breath of cold air. She glared at Li Yundong, calmed herself, and walked into the classroom.

The moment she entered, those people who were piled up against the window turned toward her in a coordinated manner.

Feng Nuo drily coughed once. She bend her waist and bowed in apology. “I disturbed everyone and caused everyone inconvenience. For this, I express my sincere apologies.”

The students inside the classroom simultaneously replied with an affirmative sound, “Oh…”

Feng Nuo saw that everyone had a strange glint in their eyes. She then proceeded to explain. “Actually, I came to find Li Yundong for the exchange with the Mayan university. Everyone must not think too much on it. There really isn’t anything between me and him.”

Li Yundong stood by the doorway with his face in his palm, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. ‘Is there really a negative correlation between external beauty and intelligence? Su Chan is impossibly beautiful and she talks about mystifying nonsense all day long. Let’s not count her. Then what about this girl? You explain my ass. This kind of thing, the more you explain, the less people will believe.’

Feng Nuo saw the heavy doubt in everyone’s eyes. She could not help but anxiously say, “There really isn’t anything between us. We just met yesterday!”

When Li Yundong heard, he felt like going insane. He wished he could drag Feng Nuo outside and give her a spanking.

In the classroom, a type of expression that indicated they understood in the wrong wrong appeared in everyone’s face. “Oh!”

Feng Nuo found that the more she explained, the more this bunch doubted her. She became truly anxious. “What do I need to say to make you guys believe!”

Immediately, a student scream out, “No picture, no fact!”

Then this bunch of male and female farm animals started shouting, “We want pictures and we want facts. We want seeds and we want links!”*4

“Screw. There’s no saving this school. They’re all a bunch of sex-addled bastards! This is a straight out labeling an honest girl as a slut!” Li Yundong almost broke down. He charged into the classroom dragged Feng Nuo out like he was dragging a farm animal.

Li Yundong cursed soundly, “Are you a pig? Explain, my ass! Are your brains made of glue? If this kind of thing can be clearly explained, then this world will henceforth be happy and peaceful!”

Feng Nuo felt both anxiety and grievance. Even tears were about to fall out. “There really wasn’t anything between us originally!”

Li Yundong slapped forehead and moaned. “My god… someone come save me. How did I meet such an idiotic woman!”

Feng Nuo was offended. “You think I’m an idiot? You’re the real idiot!”

Li Yundong glared and angrily said, “Aren’t you stupid? I heard that women with big chests are brainless, but I think you’re flat chested and brainless. Did all the fat that should have been in your breasts somehow get into your skull?”

Feng Nuo was mad beyond measure. She was not Princess Taiping.*5 She had a cup size of C. If someone said she was big breasted and brainless, then she’d let that go. At least she’d have a chest. However, having been described as flat chested and brainless, how could a girl endure?

Feng Nuo stuck out her chest and angrily said, “Which eye of yours thinks my chest is flat!”

Li Yundong wanted to say something in retort, but he saw the window and doorway squeezed full of people. Each and every one of their eyes revealed passion and frenzy, as if they wished that Feng Nuo and he would fight right here and now. Only then would they have watched to their heart’s content.

Li Yundong waved his hand, “I’m not going to say any more. In any case, the great me’s IQ is starting to drop down along with you!”

With those words, he beckoned to Su Chan who had long ago laughed to the point of crouching on the floor. “Hey, terrible girl, get up. It’s time to go! Laugh, laugh your head!*6 Still staying around, aren’t you afraid of losing face?”

Su Chan wiped away some tears. She gently rubbed at her belly that still hurt from all her laughing. Then she started to pursued Li Yundong.

The only one left was Feng Nuo who stood on the spot gnashing her teeth for a while, right up until a female student arrived at her side. That female student softly said, “Nuo Nuo, this time, you were really tragic. Met your match, huh?”

Feng Nuo only now regained her wits and glared at the girl who just arived. Then she glared at Li Yundong’s departing back. She resentfully said, “Shut up! This bastard. I won’t let him be! The great me suffered great losses this time, so I will have great gains!”*7

Feng Nuo was the third year finance department’s department belle. Her own family background was already quite good. Even though she had always been treated as a beloved person, a pearl on the palm, but her personality was open and lively, without a single bit of arrogance. From childhood till now, everyone protected her. When had she ever suffered such a loss?

In particular, the fact she was called flat chested and brainless by a certain someone, in some ways, this was actually a grudge even worse than killing one’s father, or stealing one’s husband. It was a great grudge where the two cannot exist under the same sky.

Feng Nuo gnashed her teeth for a while. She turned her head and looked, only to see the second year class, which was outwardly cold and inwardly passionate, was actually impatiently staring at her, waiting to watch the fireworks. Feng Nuo exploded with anger. She turned around and left. As she walked, she silently cursed at Li Yundong.

Mumbling to herself for a while, Feng Nuo seemed to suddenly remember something. She came to an abrupt stop. Staring at her best friend beside her side, she said, “Cheng Cheng, is my chest really small?”

This best friend named Cheng Cheng did not say anything. She simply thrust out her F cup chest and sighed.

Feng Nuo immediately flipped out. Grasping her five fingers into a claw, she roared to the sky, “The great me will kill all the women under the sky with bigger breasts than me!”

Cheng Cheng hugged at her chest with her face full of alarm and said, “Then wouldn’t you be the only woman left under the sky?”

Feng Nuo pounced toward her threateningly, “What did you say? Are you looking to die? Come here. The great me will crush your breasts!”

Cheng Cheng laughed out loud. She hugged her chest and ran. One in front and one following behind, the two joked and fought as they quickly disappeared down the hallway.

~~~

*1 Yes, this is literally fujoshi. It’s a loan word from japanese, directly using the kanji as chinese characters.

*2 This literally translates to if the upper beam is not straight, the lower beam will be crooked. Of course it’s really a metaphor for government officials.

*3 Ducks have webbed feet, so it’s impossible for them to be on a perch. As an idiom, it means to force someone beyond their ability.

*4 Seed and Links could be bodily fluid and hookups… alternatively, it’s a website thing, torrents and hyperlinks.

*5 Princess Taiping – taiping can mean extremely flat or peaceful. She was the princess of peace, who was renowned for her beauty (it’s too long ago, no one knows her cup size). Nowadays, her name is used to describe flat-chestedness.

*6 nigetou – literally your head: It is used the same way as ‘my ass’ in English.

*7 There’s a bunch of idioms in Chinese that state suffering losses is good fortune. Basically, bad luck is a prelude to good luck. For in business, losing a bit, means bigger gains later on, like investment. There’s a pun in there, which is eating hair, and there might be a part I don’t get the reference for, but that’s how it generally is.

T/N: Island Nation is that place, which is approximately the same size as Italy or California, just east of China. Of course, that’s just its nick name. Often used in order to avoid directly referring to Japan. I’m replacing everything with alternate history in this novel, so its official name here will probably be Moon Nation or something.

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14 thoughts on “Chapter 21: The More You Touch, The Blacker It Gets

  1. i think this chapters “fox girl” is the main heroine Ookami Ryouko from “Ookami-san to Shichinin no Nakama-tachi” (wolf & her 7 companions), if so she’s a fake fox girl :p.

    thanks for the translation.

    Like

  2. “I’m replacing everything with alternate history in this novel”
    You, the translator, are doing this? Does that have anything to do with the Mayan thing? Asking out of curiosity, not disapproval or something.

    Like

    1. Shhh… you guys won’t notice a thing. It’s in preparation for national pride in hundreds and hundreds of chapters. I can understand patriotism or at least upholding the governmental line but at least use fictional nations in modern xianxia. Or be like Cultivation Chat Group where cultivators are practically separate from the mundane world.

      Like

  3. Note to self: If you find a fox spirit at your doorstep, run. If she turns into a girl, don’t take her anywhere before properly drilling common sense into her lest you suffer horribly and die.
    thanks for the chapter.

    Like

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