Chapter 22: Oh Brain Damaged One, No Medicine Can Cure Thee Verily

[Previous Chapter] [Table of Contents] [Next Chapter]

T/N: Please look for mistakes as always.  Kung fu = skill.

Because third year finance department did not have class this morning, Feng Nuo and her best friend Cheng Cheng joked around for a while before heading back to the classroom for self-study.

Feng Nuo sat on her own seat. She thought back to her conversation with Li Yundong earlier today. The more she thought about it, the more gloomy she became. The more she thought about it, the more she blushed in shame. She pulled her book closer and made like an ostrich, burying her head in her book pile. Then she started screaming out loud in pique. “So embarrassing! From now on, I’ll be too embarrassed to meet people!”

Not long after, a male student sat down by Feng Nuo’s side. This thick and sturdy junior student with two especially thick arms spoke to Feng Nuo with a fawning smile on his face, “Nuo Nuo, What’s wrong?”

Feng Nuo lifted her head to see the man who usually would not leave her alone smiling at her. She rolled her eyes in irritation. “Zhou Yu, hurry up and get lost. Can’t you see the great me is in a bad mood? The great me currently does not want to see you!”

Zhou Yu blanked for a moment. Unhappiness flashed in his eyes, but he maintained the smile on his face and said, “Nuo Nuo, who’s troubling you? Tell me, and I’ll help you cut him down to size!”

Feng Nuo made a shooing gesture at him in annoyance. “Shoo, shoo, shoo! The great me is on my period, all right? Now hurry up and get lost! You’re not leaving? Fine, I’m leaving!”

Once she finished speaking, she packed up all her books in a rush, and charged out of the classroom like a whirlwind. Her nimble movements were nothing like a girl on her period.

Zhou Yu remained dazed on his seat, yet to regain his wits. He turned his head to face Feng Nuo’s best friend, Cheng Cheng, and said, “Screw. Did she eat the wrong medicine today?”

Cheng Cheng giggled and her eyes spun in thought. “What do you think?” Her fingers came together in money gesture as if rubbing bills together.

Zhou Yu chuckled and said, “Dear big sis*1, you will get your due. Tell me what the heck is going on?”

Cheng Cheng poke at Zhou Yu and said, “I want two VIP tickets for Golden Years!”

A hesitant expression showed on Zhou Yu’s face. Upon seeing this, Cheng Cheng immediately started packing up her bags. Zhou Yu hurriedly stopped her. “Okay okay! Two tickets is it? No problem! Now hurry up and tell me what’s going on!”

Cheng Cheng agreed and told Zhou Yu what happened a while ago when Feng Nuo met with a large setback in the hands of Li Yundong. Zhou Yu immediately jumped a meter high upon hearing what happened. Flexing his wrists and pulling up his sleeves, he charged out of the classroom.

Feng Nuo was waiting at the doorway for Cheng Cheng to come out. She glared with widened eyes at Cheng Cheng and asked, “What did you say to Zhou Yu? Why is he charging out like his butt’s on fire?”

Cheng Cheng proudly responded, “What do you think I said?”

Feng Nuo pondered for a second before answering, “You told him what happened between me and Li Yundong?”

Cheng Cheng snapped her finger. “Bingo. In exchange for a pair of Golden Years VIP tickets, yo.”

Feng Nuo was so mad that she started to laugh. “Are you insane? Zhou Yu is a martial artist. He trains the Iron Wire Fist! His kung fu is not inferior to Zhao Yujian at all!”*2

Cheng Cheng gave a short laugh, “Even Zhao Yujian was beaten into a half cripple by Li Yundong with a single punch. Are you still afraid that your little lover can’t beat him?”

Feng Nuo was mad now. She reached out and grabbed Cheng Cheng’s chest. “What did you just say? What little lover? Are you looking to die? You hateful big breasted girl, the great me will crush your breasts!”

Cheng Cheng guarded her chest and laughed heartily. “Okay okay! You’re afraid that Zhou Yu will suffer a loss instead. You really can’t tell. Normally you’re always arctic cold to him but in truth your heart is passionate like fire!”

Feng Nuo jokingly berated, “You little floozy, you’re getting more and more out of hand! I don’t care if those two stinky guys died! Hopefully, those two will take each other down so they won’t annoy me anymore!”

The two laughed and joked together. Cheng Cheng patted her chest. She panted as she said, “You should be concerned about yourself first. As the arts committee member of the student union, how will you make up for Zhao Yujian’s absence this time?”

The moment they started discussing this, Feng Nuo’s mood took a turn for the worse. She looked miserable. “That’s right. What should I do?”

Cheng Cheng was very quick-witted. She supplied ideas from the side, “That’s right. I heard we have junior among second years the named Zhou Qin. She is also our university’s number one campus belle. Her background is also amazing. Furthermore, I heard a while ago, Li Yundong confessed to this campus belle. If you go ask her, and let her go ask Li Yundong, maybe that’ll work?”

Feng Nuo rolled her eyes. “What kind of rotten idea is that? I, this old lady, couldn’t settle the issue.*3 What can a silly little girl do?”

Cheng Cheng mockingly said, “Forget it. You’re just older than her by a single grade, all right? Stop pretending to be a middle-aged but still attractive woman!”

Feng Nuo exploded, “Are you tired of living? You dare to take apart my stage!*4 The great me already said, I won’t beg anyone else, so I won’t go beg anyone else!”

Cheng Cheng raised both her hands in surrender. “Okay okay. I won’t say anything anymore! Just one last thing. Even if you don’t beg Zhou Qin, that’s fine. But aren’t you afraid that if Li Yundong and Zhou Yu fight, there really will be some kind of unexpected accident?”

Feng Nuo heard what Cheng Cheng said and her expression immediately turned severe. “Let’s go. We need to hurry and take a look!”

Li Yundong had long since escaped from the classroom. He was really too embarrassed to go back, but he had no idea where he should go. Thus, he could only bring Su Chan along and wander around the school.

As they wandered, Li Yundong pondered on various issues. As he thought of Director Qian wanting to expel him, he became frustrated to the point of desperately wanting to tweak his ears and scratch his cheeks.

They wandered around randomly, eventually arriving at the school gate. Just as they left the school gate, they heard a loud voice booming through the air, “Li Yundong, stop right there!”

Starting some time ago, Zhou Yu had persistently sought out Li Yundong’s location. However, after finding out the whereabouts of Li Yundong’s class, he did not see the fellow in the classroom. He could only leave and continue his search by asking around.

Luckily, Li Yundong was truly a well-known man of the moment. There were many students that could recognize him, especially considering the unforgettable impression left on people by the little fox who was like Li Yundong’s shadow. Thus there were quite a number of students who pointed the way, then Zhou Yu simply followed these direction in his pursuit.

Li Yundong paused. He turned around and took a look, only to see a 190cm or so tall male student walking toward him in large strides.

The moment, the male student arrived in front of Li Yundong, he reached with his fingers like hooks and tried to grab Li Yundong’s shoulder.

Zhou Yu’s grab was meant to be an initial show of strength. So long as he succeeds, he could easily exert control over Li Yundong’s shoulder.

Even though Li Yundong possessed Gold Pill energy, he practically had no real combat experience. How could he know the trick behind this technique?

However, the little fox Su Chan possessed discerning eyes. The man in front of them did not come with good intentions. She immediately reached out and smacked aside Zhou Yu’s hand with a pow. Then she glared menacingly at Zhou Yu. “What are you trying to do?”

Zhou Yu caught a glimpse of Su Chan and suddenly his eyes almost became vacant. He nearly lost his ability to speak. He had just wanted to say something when he remembered the intimate relationship between Su Chan and Li Yundong. Jealousy violently reared its ugly head in his heart.

Zhou Yu ignored Su Chan. He only stared at Li Yundong and said, “Hey, what did you do to Feng Nuo today?”

“Feng Nuo?” Hearing this name, Li Yundong’s head felt like it would explode. He groaned mournfully and said, “If I say I never freaking did anything to her, do you believe me?”

Zhou Yu saw that Su Chan was still tightly restraining his arm. Internally, he was sneering. ‘This guy had a 80 or 90% chance of being the second generation of a nouveau riche. He only knows how to use money to deceive little girls! He already has this pretty lady beside him and he dares to trouble Feng Nuo. Hateful bastard, the great me will sort you out today!’

Zhou Yu coldly said, “You didn’t do anything? Then how did Feng Nuo become furious like that?”

Li Yundong rolled his eyes. “She herself was acting brainless. She said a bunch of thoughtless things. How could that be blamed on me?”

When Zhou Yu heard Li Yudong’s reply, he seethed in anger. “Very well. You heartless fellow, after performing your shameful deed, you actually blamed it on the girl. You are not a man. If you dare, step forward and have a duel with the great me!”

When Li Yundong heard what Zhou Yu said, he held his belly and started laughing aloud. He laughed for a long time. Only when Zhou Yu could not stand it anymore and had started to act did Li Yundong stop. He forcibly suppressed his laughter and said to Zhou Yu, “Classmate, you can walk straight fifty meters from here. Then take a right turn and go another one hundred meters. Next, get on the 533 bus. Get off at the Municipal People’s Hospital. Finally, I recommend you go to the psychiatry department and get your brain checked.”

Zhou Yu erupted in anger. His clenched his fists tightly. “What did you say!” After he finished speaking, his fist smashed toward Li Yundong.

This punch was both swift and fierce. Li Yundong started in fright. However, he saw Su Chan with immensely fast reflexes move her hand to defend, stopping the attack on the side.

Zhou Yu was blocked by Su Chan two times in a row. He was secretly becoming vigilant. He knew this girl had a 80 to 90% chance of being a martial artist. Moreover, her block caused his arm to hurt, so her skill was possibly even above his own!*5

Zhou Yu did not want to conflict with Su Chan, whose beauty was enough to move anyone’s heart. He could only direct his attack toward Li Yundong. He spoke in an incensed manner, “Are you still a man? You only know how to hide behind a girl!”

Su Chan was offended by Zhou Yu’s words. She loudly said, “Hey! What kind of bullshit are you spouting? Yudong isn’t afraid of you. For trash like you, I only need one hand to defeat ten. Yundong could do even better!”

No matter how good Zhou Yu’s temper was, it could not withstand this. He scowled and glared at Su Chan. “What did you say?”

Su Chan made a mischievous face at him, “I said, for trash like you, I can easily use one hand to defeat at least ten!”

Zhou Yu screamed, “Shut up!”

Su Chan screamed back, “You shut up first!”

Li Yundong turned his head and said angrily, “You please shut up for me! Haven’t you caused enough trouble for me already?”

Su Chan started with fright. Her threatening manner from earlier completely vanished. She obediently hid behind Li Yundong’s back, without saying a word, just like a deferential young wife.

Li Yundong turned his head back and said to Zhou Yu, “Did you know, for people like you, there is a phrase from the ‘Compendium of Medical Herb’ that describes you perfectly?”

Zhou Yu fixed his eyes on Li Yundong and asked, “What phrase?”

Li Yundong sneered and said, “Already brain damaged one, no medicine can cure thee verily!”

Once Su Chan heard, she burst into uproarious laughter.

Having been ridiculed, Zhou Yu was about to fly into a rage out of humiliation. Just as he was about to attack, suddenly a burst of loud verbal abuse could be heard.

He turned to take a look, only to see a large group of gangsters quickly heading toward them. From their waist, they took out a bunch of steel rods and spanners. As they ran, they roared, “Little bastard. Stay still! The great me is going to kill you!”

Li Yundong could clearly tell that these people could not be anyone else. They were the ones that had chased him all the way into the university: Xie Fei, Er Lu and their fellow gangsters!

Zhou Yu jumped in fright. Even though he was a martial artist, but he could not handle all these people. Moreover, these guys had weapons! In any case, these guys were clearly not after him. They were after the other fellow, Li Yundong!

Zhou Yu rushed to jump out of the way. He took joy in Li Yundong’s misfortune and waited to see a good show. “Stupid bitch, you better run. I won’t laugh at you!”

Li Yundong heard and his rage built up violently. This time, he did not turn around and escape.

He recalled how he blasted out more tan 500 bl of force with a single punch, sent Zeng Qing flying with a single kick, and broke Zhao Yujian’s lower leg with a single punch. He also remembered the incredible strength he felt inside his body when he experimented in his living room last night. That kind of violently hot power surged within his blood roaring passionately!

Li Yundong’s blood quickly came to a boil. There was a primordial beast charging within his meridians and blood vessels. The pupils of his eyes shrunk. The strength of his entire body seemed to increase explosively. Blood flowed as if pumped forcefully by a motor to his thigh. Then from his thigh to his lower leg. His lower leg gave strength to his muscles and tendons. His entire person rose up. One leg performed ‘golden pheasant stands on one leg’, while his other leg struck out like a battle-ax!*6

This was a classical combat technique that practically appeared in every style and every school, the spin kick.

~~~

*1 this is like onee-sama or more likely anego or aneue

*2 Iron Wire Fist is a sub-style of Hung Ga (The style used by the guy in Kung Fu Hustle with all the metal rings), which is in turn a subset of Shaolin style. In tribute to Kung Fu Hustle, I’m translating gongfu when said by Feng Nuo as ‘kung fu’ instead of skill. ‘His skill is not inferior to Zhao Yujian at all!’

*3 Feng Nuo has always been saying [I, this old woman / This old woman] to emphasize her greatness and seniority when cursing or joking. In the past, it’s always been [the great me], which is a gender neutral term. In truth, for men [I, your grandfather] / [I, your father] / [I, this old man] / etc. = [the great me] and for women [I, your mother] / [I, this old lady] / [I, your aunt] / etc. = [the great me].

*4 to take apart sb’s stage: the original text had the Chinese idiom ‘to take apart sb’s stage’, which is very similar to pulling the rug out from under sb’s feet or cutting the floor from under them, but the way it’s accomplished is through either words or actions. There is no requirement of outdoing someone.

*5 I wanted to say kung fu here instead of skill but in the end, I decided kung fu will only show up inside quotation marks. Another translation for kung fu when used on cultivator is ‘cultivation’ after all.

*6 ‘golden pheasant stands on one leg’ is a Tai Chi stance, where you stand stably… on one leg. Yes, that’s all.

00dda67390818bba8ffa50d6d242fe2999c2aa12

1f76ff254b8cdf58b1478640ae7cded6

[Previous Chapter][Table of Contents][Next Chapter]

15 thoughts on “Chapter 22: Oh Brain Damaged One, No Medicine Can Cure Thee Verily

  1. Cheng Cheng gave a short laugh, “Even Zhao Yujian was beaten into a half cripple by Li Yundong with a single punch. Are you still afraid that your little can’t beat him?”

    Add ‘lover’ after ‘little’. It is said in the next paragraph -> “What little lover?”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sometimes I wonder if Chinese people really speak this way or if the author purposefully gives the characters this types of personalities and awful speech patterns.

    Anyway thanks for the chapter!

    Like

    1. Young Chinese people in smaller cities really did speak somewhat like that. Of course, it might have improved by now. Partially rebellion, partially slang, partially the influence of internet cafes. Phrases like ‘screw’ and ‘I’ll kill you’ are really common among youths but they definitely aren’t really as violent as they are in a cultivation novel.

      Like

    1. Ya… I was hesitating between ‘I’ll be too embarrassed to meet people’ and ‘it’ll be too embarrassing to meet people’ and ended up with that while intending to type the former. Thanks for reading meticulously.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s