Chapter 4: Quench that Heat

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T/N: Meh.  50% done ESS’s prologue.  It’s good but the fact it’s a prologue and not the main story really cuts my motivation.  I’m asking everyone to help with proofreading.  While I’m probably translating fairly close to the author’s intentions, my brain blips every so often while I type this stuff.  The less time I spend on proofreading, the more I can spend on translating.

Li Yundong stared distractedly at the little fox who was not far away. All his anger faded away and he unwittingly released Wu Hui, idiotically saying, “You, you…”

Li Yundong never imagined that the girl would chase him to his campus, his imagination uncontrollably ran wild, ‘Why did she come? Did something really happen between us? Did she come to get back at me? Or… I-I-What should I do?’

The little fox chased all the way to school. Now that she had found Li Yundong who was a moving Human Origin Gold Pill in her eyes, she could not suppress her happiness. However, she quickly realized her mistake and became vigilant.

‘Not good. I can’t let my joy overwhelm my deliberation. If I accidentally slip up and let him catch onto my intentions, then my chance of success will take a turn for the worse!”

The little fox thought of the things her master once taught her while she was in the mountain. “If you want him to stop suspecting your suspicious origins, then you only need one stratagem and then you’ll be successful every time!”

And that stratagem is to pretend to be pitiful.

The little fox forcefully endured the impulse to rush up and latch onto Li Yundong. Instead, she walked with tiny step with a face full of unspoken grievance. She stopped in front of Li Yundong. Her large glittery eyes stared at him. These expressive eyes could even melt an Arhat cast of copper.

Wu Hui who was on the side stared at the girl in front of him. He was screaming nonstop on the inside, ‘There’s actually a girl this beautiful! There’s actually a girl this beautiful!”

The little fox’s beauty had a destructive power towards all males. For the past thousand or so years, no one had ever heard of a mortal able to resist the seduction of a fox spirit.

King Jie of Xia, King Zhou of Shang, and King You of Zhou, all of them without exceptions were ensnared by the fox spirits, Mei Xi, Da Ji, and Bao Si.

Ancient monarchs could not resist, how could inexperienced university students do better?

Wu Hui seemed to have completely forgotten his recent loss. He loudly proclaimed to the little fox, “Beautiful lady, this guy isn’t a good person. A moment ago, he was going to…”

Li Yundong did not even look Wu Hui. His hand pressed down on Wu Hui’s head and sent him falling on his butt. “Get lost!”

The surrounding students watched Li Yundong and the little fox as if they were watching a show, discussing in whispers what the relationship between the two might be.

“I think, it must be Li Yundong who did something bad to the beautiful girl.”

“Fellow brother, I’ll support you if you step up. Li Yundong looks like he has a guilty conscience!”

“I’ll support your freaking lungs. Are you guys blind? That beauty is top-notch no matter who she’s compared with. Even Fan Bingbing* compared to her is ugly. How can she like Li Yundong?”

“Screw. You’re the one who’s blind! Didn’t you hear what I said? Li Yundong did something bad to her!”

“Hooey, What does being blind have to do with hearing what you said? What kind of logic is that?”

“Stop arguing already, watch the show!”

These people discussed excitedly, and all of them conjectured that this girl had come to cause trouble for Li Yundong. Furthermore, they thought Li Yundong must have done something to this beauty that he should be ashamed of.

But what happened next made the entire audience fall over in surprise.

The little fox used her fingertips to gently grip at Li Yundong’s sleeve, swaying back and forth. She let her head droop low and softly said, “Why did you leave just like that?”

Li Yundong was also anxious and scared on the inside. When he hear what the little fox said, his brain blue screened**. He had difficulty reacting. “Huh?”

The little fox raised her head, and pitifully looked at Li Yundong, “You don’t want me anymore?”

Before, the little fox was too quiet so not everyone heard. This time, they heard what she said loud and clear.

“Impossible! Paying out instead of getting paid? This is a mistake, right?”

Everyone raised a commotion.

The male students instantly became like animals in mating seasons. Their eyes were bloodshot as they glared at Li Yundong. If the brat, Li Yundong, opened his mouth and said no, they would scream out, “I want you. I want you. Beauty, I want you!”

Li Yundong’s head was full of glue. His IQ suffered a serious drop. He could only stare at the little fox completely speechless.

Tears started to well up in the little fox’s eyes, adding to her allure. Just as she was about to cry, Li Yundong managed to regain his wits, “Okay okay. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. If there’s something you want to say, we can discuss it back home.”

On the side, Ding Nan whose eyes were so wide they were round stared in disbelief. She could not help but step closer and say to the little fox, “Hey, you know this guy is-”

The little fox’s hand gave Ding Nan’s head a push, imitating Li Yundong’s treatment of Wu Hui, without even looking at the girl. “Get lost!”

Ding Nan tumbled into a roll. While her looks were not as good as Zhou Qin, she was still a department belle grade beauty. Since when had she ever suffered such humiliation?

She sat on the ground, blankly looking at the little fox and Li Yundong. For a time, she could not regain her wits.

Sun Li, on the other hand, seemed much calmer. She coldly said, “I say, are you guys filming a Chiung Yao*** drama? If you are, please switch to another location. This is a school!”

Li Yundong smiled at Sun Li. It could not be helped. She was the class monitor. Even though she was not a high ranking in the system, but little authority is still authority.

His credits this term were held in the hands of this little hot pepper! If you wanted to say the class monitor had a lot of authority, you’d be wrong, but you could not say the class monitor only had a little authority either. Taking the daily roll call was her responsibility. If that little hot pepper decides to avenge private wrongs using her position, his efforts this entire term would be wasted.

Li Yundong did not know how he should interact with the little fox, but with a girl this beautiful chasing after him, he was feeling greatly refreshed on the inside. He gave a dry cough before speaking to the little fox, “You can return home first and wait for me. We’ll talk after I get back.”

With those words, pretending not to be affected by her sensual sexuality, he headed toward the school building.

Upon arriving in the large classroom, just as he sat down, a sweet fragrance tickled at his senses. The little fox acting like a bullied young wife had followed behind him. She sat down by his side.

Even though Li Yundong acted as if he were unaffected in front of the crowd, in the depth of his heart, he deeply desired the little fox to follow him in. At this moment, he was shocked and overjoyed. “Why did you follow me in?”

The little fox had assumed Li Yundong wanted her to leave, so her tears fell with a pitter-patter. “Please don’t drive me away.”

Looking at her, Li Yundong’s heart wanted to melt. “Oi, no one is trying to drive you away!”

The little fox raised her head, and she anxiously looked at Li Yundong. “Really?”

Li Yundong nodded solemnly. “Of course!”

The little fox immediately broke out in a smile. Her eyes became like crescent moons. “Chan-er is truly happy!”

Li Yundong asked curiously, “Chan-er?”

The little fox beamed with joy. She pointed to her nose and said, “Su Chan, is is the name my master gave me.”

Li Yundong asked inquisitively, “Your master?”

Su Chan became nervous on the inside. Pretending to be naive, she simply answered, “Yup!”

Luckily, Li Yundong did not continue to ask. He smiled at the little fox and said, “I am called Li Yundong.”

This exchange between the two of them in the ears of those students sitting nearby was enough to make them grimace. The emotions between the two seemed awfully desperate a moment ago, but apparently they did not even know each other’s names!

Some other students were full of unexplained grief and rage. How can this kind of top-tier beauty be interested in our university’s biggest loser, the confession emperor? What part of their appearance was inferior to his? What part of their figure was inferior to his? What part of their talent was inferior to his? What part of their background was inferior to his? What the heck does this beauty like about him? Is there any fairness in this world? Is there any law of the land?

The little fox Su Chan finally achieved the first step of her plan. She successfully found a way to stay at that fellow’s side.

Now for the step two of her plan, to capture this man.

Su Chan thought, ‘That year, master also said, in order to capture a man’s heart, first you must fulfill his every desire.’

‘But what was fulfill every desire supposed to be? He-he didn’t bring up any requests. What fulfill? What desire?’

Quickly, the little fox realized, “Woot, I’m so dumb. If he doesn’t bring anything up, can’t I just ask?”

So the little fox with a fawning smile asked, “Yundong, are you cold?”

Su Chan’s call of “Yundong” almost made Li Yundong’s bone go soft. He stared at Su Chan with a strange expression on his face.

The little fox timidly looked at Li Yundong, “You don’t like me calling you that way?”

Li Yundong swept his gaze around his surround only to find all the male students looking at him in jealousy and disdain. His male vanity received enormous satisfaction. “I like you calling me that way.”

Su Chan once again beamed brightly. “Yundong, are you cold?”

Li Yundong snickered on the inside. ‘Tiannan was a southern city. Right now it was the end of May. You’re asking me if I’m cold?’

He casually answered, “I’m not cold.”

The male students sitting behind Li Yundong all shuddered. They could not stand Su Chan’s voice, which could make the bones of men go soft. They mumbled to themselves, “I, your father, am almost cold enough to die thanks to the two of you!”

Su Chan naturally would not care about the sour grapes of those male students. She originally wanted Li Yundong to say he was cold, and then she could snuggle up to him to help him warm up. However, this fellow was cold. So her eyes spun around in thought before she said, “Then, are you hot?”

Li Yundong did not know whether to laugh or cry. This classroom had air conditioning, how could it be hot? “I’m not hot either.”

Su Chan’s lips almost formed a pout. She grumbled in her heart, ‘You’re not cold and you’re not hot. Then what the heck do you want?’

However, Su Chan’s personality was unyielding, dogged in spite of setbacks, soft on the outside and firm on the inside. Otherwise, she would not have braved countless difficulties to steal the Human Origin Gold Pill. She asked once more, “Then, are you hungry?”

Hearing her question, Li Yundong’s stomach growled. His flesh and bones had been ravaged by the Human Origin Gold Pill for three days. His stomach had long since emptied. Previously, he was always occupied by various matter so he did not notice his hunger. Now that Su Chan mentioned it, his stomach immediately responded.

With his belly rumbling like thunder, acting as irrefutable evidence, Li Yundong honestly nodded his head and said, “I’m really hungry!”

Su Chan was overjoyed, “Then I’ll go buy some food for you to eat, okay?”

Li Yundong smiled with gratitude. He really was not used to having a beauty so close to him. Rather embarrassed, he replied self-consciously, “Okay then.”

Su Chan finally found an opportunity to perform. Elated at the good new, she immediately ran out of the classroom.

Li Yundong watched her departing figure. His shout failed to stop her, “Hey! I didn’t give you money yet!”

Su Chan ran out of the classroom. She attracted the gazes of who knew how many boys along the way. Followed by infatuated gazes and sigh, she charged out of the campus.

Having left the campus, Su Chan looked left and right. Suddenly, she found she did not know where to buy food.

Anyhow, this kind of obvious problem could not stop her. She wrinkled her nose and found the scent of meat in the air. Next, she followed the smell toward its source.

There really was a marketplace by Tiannan University. The little fox simply followed the scent of food and soon enough she found her way there.

Even though the little fox had never visited a marketplace in the mundane world, she at least heard of them.

With a beaming smile, she ran to the meat stall. Just as she was going to buy a few jin**** of meat, she suddenly remembered, ‘Fish brings phlegm, meat brings heat (internal heat)*****. This kind of thing will increase one’s internal heat!”

Li Yundong swallowed the Human Origin Gold Pill, his blood and vital qi were vigorous to the extreme, already past the limit of an ordinary mortal. Thus his internal heat was also enormous.

Eating meat for him would bring harm without any benefit.

The little fox was completely focused on currying favor with Li Yundong. She actually forgot to consider the matter from an ordinary person’s perspective.

Do mortal eat raw pork?

Luckily, Su Chan considered the issue from a cultivator’s point of view and did not end up buying raw pork. Otherwise, Li Yundong would have probably ended up looking at two jin of meat not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

With that idea in mind, Su Chan left the meat stall and moved to the vegetable stand. She pondered what to buy. ‘Since that fellow can’t eat anything hot (internal heat), then he should eat something cool (internal heat)!”

Fish brings phlegm; meat brings heat (internal heat); radishes and bok choy bring peace and quiet (internal heat)!

Su Chan inspected the vegetable stand. She picked a plump carrot, and she was about to pick a bunch of bok choy. But after giving it some thought, she concluded, ‘I don’t eat raw bok choy. That fellow probably doesn’t eat raw bok choy too, right?’

Thus Su Chan put the bok choy back down. Looking left and right, she picked a cucumber that was both long and thick, secretly proud that she remember a passage from the food therapy classics, ‘Cucumber is cold (internal heat) in nature, refreshing in flavor, it can quench thirst, wipe out vexation and lower internal heat!’

‘It can fill your stomach and reduce internal heat. You can even eat it raw! Ha, I’m brilliant!’

The little fox was filled with pride. A little bit more and she would wag her tail.

The owner of the vegetable stand was a middle-aged aunty. Her face was fierce with muscle, and she was staring at the little fox. In her mind, she exclaimed, ‘My god, how can there be such a beautiful maiden! To be this foxy and charming! If a man gets together with her, won’t he be drained dry?’

She observed as all the men in the area looked at Su Chan. It was a scene reminiscent of cats smelling the scent of fish. They were all drooling as if they wanted to eat up the little fox in a single bite.

‘Hmph! Coquettish fox!’

The vegetable stand owner coldly snorted. Turning around, she found her own husband was acting the same way.

She instantly exploded in rage. Reaching out, she grabbed her husband’s ear and said, “Do you want me to call them over so that you can have a good look, mmm?”

That uncle was apparently a henpecked husband. He was suddenly all apologetic smiles and no longer dared to look. Though occasionally he peeked out of the corner of his eyes.

The vegetable selling aunty grumbled and complained to herself indirectly cursing at a certain someone. She looked at Su Chan picking out a carrot, followed by a cucumber. Su Chan’s figure started retreating into the distance.

The aunty was fuming inside and she felt something was not quite right. However, Su Chan’s absolute beauty had entangled her thoughts so she was not able to react.

When Su Chan had already departed, the aunty realized what happened. She heavily smacked her leg and cursed, “That little hussy! That damn fox spirit! She didn’t pay!”

After Su Chan left, Li Yundong sat on his seat. His thoughts were full of Su Chan’s every expression. Evidently, the little fox spirit had already laid claim to his heart and soul.

Right up until someone poked him in the back, did he finally wake up from his delusions. “Huh, what is it?”

The teacher on the lectern was black in the face as he said, “Student Li Yundong, please come up here and repeat what I just said.”

Li Yundong forced himself to walk up to the lectern. He opened his mouth but remained speechless. A moment ago, he hadn’t paid attention because his head was full of the little fox. How could he know what the teacher said?

The teacher of ancient Chinese literary history was a bald middle-aged man. When he saw Li Yundong open his mouth without speaking, he blew up. Using his abilities as a veteran professor, he scolded Li Yundong until Li Yundong almost could not raise his head.

Just as the Chinese teacher finished his scolding and was preparing to let Li Yundong return to his seat, Su Chan charged into the room.

Li Yundong watched as Su Chan charged in and found him with a single glance. Her eyes lit up, and she ran onto the lectern without a care. He suddenly had an inauspicious premonition.

Unfortunately, before he could say anything, Su Chan proudly raised her left hand as if she were presenting treasure. Her crisp voice rang out like silver bells and said, “I bought this carrot for you; I’ve even washed it! Hurry up and eat!”

With those words, without waiting for any reply, a carrot was stuffed into Li Yundong’s hand.

The Chinese teacher was extremely angry inside. His face was gloomy. The surrounding temperature immediately dropped.

The students in the classroom were dumbstruck.

Li Yundong’s back suddenly started to sweat. The corners of his eyes twitched. He tried nonstop to signal Su Chan with his eyes.

Su Chan blinked her eyes. She looked past Li Yundong and saw the bald Chinese teacher. She smiled sweetly and gave him a wave. Then she said to Li Yundong, “Eat, why aren’t you eating? Maybe you don’t like carrots?”

“No worries, I have other stuff too!” said Su Chan as she raised her right hand. What followed was an amazing line that would be recorded into the history of Tiannan university.

“These days, you… mmm… you might have a lot of heat… thus, I bought this cucumber to help you quench that heat!******”

With those words, the little fox proudly raised her right hand, which was holding a very long and very thick… cucumber!

In that instant, the entire classroom went silent.

Li Yundong had tears flowing down his cheeks.

~~~

*famous singer

**Dang Ji – computer crash.

***Chiung Yao – taiwanese writer.

**** Jin – Chinese measurement: 500g or half a kg.

***** Internal heat – ‘fire qi’: this is a Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) concept. Basically food is either hot type or cold type and hot type foods increase your internal heat, which does things like increase your temple, make you annoyed, mouth ulcers and so on. The title of this chapter is a reference to this. Pacify or decrease ‘fire qi’.

****** heat – internal heat (Chinese medicine)/temper/desire is written as fire qi (Huoqi). So the sentence could read, “These days, your temper will be large” or “These days, your internal heat will be large” or even “These days, your desires will be large”

Image result for long thick cucumber

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7 thoughts on “Chapter 4: Quench that Heat

  1. However, she quickly realized her mistake and became vigilante.

    vigilant

    The surrounding students watched Li Yundong and the little fox as if they were watching a show, discussing in whisper what the relationship between the two might be.

    in whispers

    Sun Li on the other hand seemed much calmer. She coldly said, “I say, are you guys filming a Chiung Yao*** drama? If you are, please switch to another location. This is a school!”

    Li, on the other hand,

    Even though Li Yundong acted as if he were unaffected in front of crowd, in the depth of his heart, he deeply desired the little fox to follow him in. At this moment, he was shocked and overjoyed. “Why did you follow me in?”

    front of the crowd,

    Su Chan thought, ‘That year, master also said, in order to capture a man’s heart, first you must fulfil his every desire.’

    Master should be capitalized, as she is referring to him directly. Fulfill

    ‘But what was fulfil every desire supposed to be? He-he didn’t bring up any requests. What fulfil? What desire?’

    Fulfill

    Otherwise Li Yundong would have probably ended up looking at two jin of meat not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

    Otherwise, Li

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, that was quite… amusing, I suppose. He lack of common sense is adorable on one hand, but on the other hand I’m not a big fan of public embarrassments, so this type of comedy isn’t exactly my cup of tea.

    Like

  3. A few months ago I met my cousins child, a 10 years old kid. I dont remember what exactly lead to the conversation but he asked me if I was cold, I answered no, than he asked me if I was hot, and I said no as well, so he kept looping the questions, asking cold or hot, and couldnt accept that I was neither XD This chapter made me remember the kid XD inside my head “For gods sake! Im fine! Im not hot nor cold! Im just FINE!” XD

    Thanks for the translation!

    Like

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