Chapter 8: Classroom Massage

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T/N: Today, I wasted time on TCM again.  This is Raising a Fox Spirit in My Home 8.  Please help with errors, especially typos. – Incarneous.

Today was another lecture class. Li Yundong brought the little fox along and sat down on the last row. Then he asked, “You know traditional Chinese medicine?”

When the little fox sat down down, it was very strange. She had always sat cross-legged in the past. Su Chan blinked her eyes and said, “Of course I know. We all know.”

Li Yundong heard the little fox’s vague reply and thought that the little fox indicated that everyone living in the mountain knew Chinese medicine. Who would have thought the little fox was actually talking about cultivators.

The little fox had a sudden idea. She thought that it was a good opportunity to guide him into cultivation. Thus she said, “Of ten daoists, nine are doctors. Sun Simiao was not only an immortal that achieved dao, he was also one of the great experts of the Xinglin world (medical world)*. If you look at Peng Zu, Ge Xuan, Zuo Ci, or Ge Hong, they are all immortals who achieved dao, and all of them are experts in the art of healing.”

Li Yundong was astounded. He laughed and said, “I know Sun Simiao was an expert of the Xinglin world. He wrote the ‘Prescriptions Worth a Thousand in Gold” after all. But a dao achieving immortal? Where did you hear that?”

The little fox said, “My master!”

Li Yundong burst into laughter, “Your master also deals in faith and superstition?”

The little fox puffed up her cheeks and angrily said, “You’re not allowed to say bad things about my master!”

Li Yundong raised both his hands. Suppressing his smile, he said, “Okay. Okay. I won’t say anything.”

The little fox got angry quickly but she calmed down just as fast. With her large round eyes, she stared at Li Yundong a little nervously and asked, “Do you want to learn or not? I’ll teach you.”

Li Yundong smiled and waved his hand, “Learn medicine? Forget it. I can’t memorize that kind of thing.”

The little fox audaciously said, “I’m talking about dao!”

Li Yundong stopped smiling and looked at Su Chan with a strange expression,”Do you mean like you? Let me go already. I’m living well. Practice daoism? I don’t want to give up my secular life to become a daoist priest.”

Li Yundong thought to himself, ‘I still want to push you down. If I become a daoist priest, then what push down?’

The little fox failed her persuasion attempt. With a heart of resentment, she thought, ‘Idiot. Learning dao is not some daoist priesthood, but rather dao as in the dao of xiuzhen**.’

T/N: I was half tempted to replace all of that acupoint stuff with, “The little fox mobilized Li Yundong’s qi up from the dantian along the governing meridian located at his back all the way to the Baihui acupoint before turning around. Then she led the qi into the conception meridian, which led straight back to the dantian along the front of his body.”

However, the little fox could not say those things out loud. If she did, Li Yundong might become vigilant. Therefore it was better to move slowly.

Soon, the teacher walked into the classroom. His teacher’s pointer hit a school desk several times to signal the start of class.

Li Yundong sat in the back row, listening with half his attention.

Su Chan sat at his side, sizing him up from time to time. In her heart, she secretly exclaimed, ‘This fellow really lives in plenty without appreciating it. If a cultivator consumed the Human Origin Gold Pill, they would definitely find a secluded corner to undergo closed door cultivation for three, five, or seven years, in order to convert all of the Gold Pill’s medicinal energies for their own use.

‘This senseless fellow, he actually lets the Gold Pill transform his physique without any questions or concerns. He just lets the abundant essence, qi and blood in his body waste away on daily consumption, without knowing to use cultivation techniques to convert that essense, qi and blood into primordial yang essential qi***.

‘If he were willing to cultivate with me, then foundation building in one year, divine ability in two years, there’s even a chance of indestructible gold body in three years!’

The little fox gave a dejected sigh in her heart. ‘That bastard. How could everything benefit this fellow who can’t tell good from bad? Truly hateful! Pearls in the dark!****’

After lamenting internally for a while, the little fox suddenly thought, ‘This can’t go on. Everyday that he refuses to learn is a day wasting the essence, blood and primordial yang in his body. Once the medicinal energy gradually wanes, even if he builds his foundation, the effectiveness of me draining his yang to cultivate would greatly reduce.’

What could she do?

The little fox received a sudden inspiration. With a voice like molasses she said, “Yundong, let you give you a massage, alright?”

Li Yundong’s bones went soft upon hearing her voice, like there were a hundred paws scratching at his heart. With a strange expression on his face, he looked at Su Chan. Pointing at the teacher on the lectern, he said, “I’m in class, it’s not a good time?”

Su Chan did not wait for him to agree. She stood up and walked to the back and started to give Li Yundong a massage.

The moment Su Chan’s delicate white hands pressed down on the Baihui acupoint on top of his head, Li Yundong immediately felt like there was something hot bubbling forth from his abdomen straight up to the top of his head. Then this hot energy was like the purest cream anointing his head***** as it spread rapidly to his four limbs. He was so comfortable that his entire body relaxed, releasing all tension as if he were soaked in hot water. This comfortable feeling made him close his eyes and never want to open them again.

In the human body, the Baihui acupoint was the one most able to stimulate yang qi. Many experts in acupuncture would often use a single single on the Baihui acupoint when a patient is failing, for the sake of provoking yang qi to save the patient’s life.

In the movie “The Message”, when the traitor tortured the old man with acupuncture to the point he was near death, the final needle was inserted on the top of his head, and that was the Baihui acupoint.

This final needle forced out all the vital energy in the old man’s body so he quickly revived.

Su Chan used her finger to massage the Baihui acupoint on top of Li Yundong’s head. Next, she separated her hand so that her thumbs remained on the Baihui acupoint, gently vibrating. Then, the middle fingers of the two hands were pressed against the Shenting acupoint located on top of Li Yundong’s forehead. Her little finger pressed against his temples, gently kneading.

Shenting acupoint was the vital acupoint of a person’s forehead. The qi of the governing meridian would pass through this acupoint. However, this acupoint was firm due to its position on the forehead, thus the relatively strong middle finger was needed in order to bring out any effect.

On the contrary, the temples were soft, thus the softest and weakest pinky was used instead.

This position made the two hands seem like two tridents that were stuck together. Thus in the cultivation world, this technique was called “Tri-pronged Blossom”

In cultivation, there was a saying: three blossoms congregate on top. Three blossoms****** are also called three splendors******, thus it could also be said that three splendors congregate on top. While these three splendors as explained by cultivation books since ancient times are difficult to understand, deeply profound and fantastical without compare, but explained in the simplest layman terms: the three splendors are essence, qi, and blood!

The little fox used the tri-pronged blossom to search for his most quintessential primordial yang, in other words, the three splendors, essence, qi, and blood!

The primordial qi of Li Yundong’s entire body was mobilized by the little fox. Starting from the lower dantian, through the Huiyin, past the gangmen, along the spine, the qi passed then through three points on the governing meridian, Weilu, Jiaji, and Yuzhen. Next, the qi arrived on top of the head at the Baihui. Then it was distributed into two parts along the ears and cheeks to pass through Yingxiang and Quiqiao, finally connecting to the conception meridian. From there, qi traveled down the middle of the chest and abdomen back into the dantian.

This was equivalent to circulating a microcosmo in cultivation. Li Yundong was simply just undergoing passive cultivation under ignorance. Even though there is a distinction between the effects of passive and active cultivation, the comfortable sensation generated by heat passing through the body’s meridians was more or less the same.

Why can so many cultivator practice asceticism?

This was because when cultivators circulate a microcosmo or macrocosmo, the primordial yang essential qi will flow through the body’s meridians. In particular, when passing through the Huiyin acupoint, there is an incomparably intense stimulation.

This kind of stimulation is absolutely comparable to lovemaking, sometimes it is even superior!

Li Yundong experienced this kind of sensation for the first time. He only felt that there was an indescribably pleasure rippling through his body. At first, it was like a little burbling stream, but it quickly transformed into a boiling sea. As time went on, this sensation advanced into a vast ocean, that immersed him!

His entire being floated on an ocean of warmth, without a speck of discomfort, without a spot of unhappiness, even the hair on his head and the fine hairs on his his skin were saturated with cheer.

Li Yundong only felt that this pleasure surged and gathered at his chest. He wanted to shout or scream to vent his pleasure.

The surrounding students upon seeing this scene were wide-eyed without exception. They grit their teeth in envy of Li Yundong.

They have seen ostentatious, but they have never seen something this ostentatious!

He actually asked a little beauty to give him a massage during class.

Screw. Where was heaven’s law? Where was the humanity? Look at him with that face full of pleasure. It truly makes people want to go up and step on it a couple times.

At this time, the teacher teaching Marxist and Leninist philosophy noticed. His face became black like a pot bottom. Just the day before, he heard a Chinese ancient literature teacher say that there was a student in the Chinese department, Sophomore Class 3 who was unbridled. That fellow actually played around with a beauty during his class!

Having seen Li Yundong today, this teacher felt that fellow was truly unbridled. He actually dared to publicly allow the beauty at his side to give him a massage.

The bastard, did he think this is the entertainment district? Did he think he was the landowner and big boss.

He had seen unbridled but he had never seen this unbridled.

The Marxism-Leninism teacher was so offended that he practically crushed the chalk in his hand into dust. Gritting his teeth, he walked off the lectern.

He had almost reached Li Yundong’s side, when Su Chan who was giving Li Yundong a massage looked toward him.

Su Chan smiled faintly at the Marxism-Leninism teacher. Putting her hand near her lips, she made a shushing motion, which was followed by a charming wink at the teacher.

The Marxism-Leninism teacher was petrified.

This teacher was named Liu. He was only twenty-four or five of age. Upon finishing his master’s degree, he choose to stay at the university as a lecturer. Being so young and full of vigor, the sight of the little fox—this kind of gorgeous beauty—directing such an attractive smile at him, his brain stopped working. For a time, he froze on the spot not knowing what to do.

He wanted to disrupt these two unruly fellows. Yet, he could not harden his heart against this little beauty’s desire. Who let her be such a exquisite beauty? If you were male then you would obey.

However, if he did not disrupt them, there were more than a hundred people watching him. How will he teach class in the future?

Teacher Liu could not advance or retreat. He stood on the spot, black in the face, not knowing what to do with his hands and feet. A pained expression appeared on his face.

The entire class looked at the teacher’s state and then looked at Li Yundong who was enjoying himself with his eyes closed. They were shocked yet amused. They wanted to laugh yet they did not dare to laugh. So they all held it in.

When the little fox finally removed her fingers from Li Yundong’s body, she gave Li Yundong a final pat to the top of his head, sending the final portion of primordial yang back into his meridians.

Li Yundong’s entire body shook. He released a deep contented sigh and said, “Nice. Super nice!”

Under normal circumstances, this sound would not attract anyone’s notice. Unfortunately, the entire classroom was absolutely silent. Li Yundong had just experience a microcosmo. The qi in his body was vigorous and there was a lot of air in his lungs. Therefore, his words echoed out like the gong of a bell, incomparably resonant. Everyone in the classroom heard him loud and clear.

After Li Yundong expressed his sentiments, he noticed the abnormal state of his surroundings. Opening his eyes, he was almost scared off his seat.

“This, this!” Li Yundong gaped wide-eyed, stuttering and stammering. He finally whimpered, “Teacher Liu, what are you doing?”

“Wahahahaha!” the students in the classroom could no longer resist, they beat their chests and stomped their feet, laughing hysterically.

Teacher Liu’s face twisted during the laughter. Once the laughter in the classroom quieted down, he finally gnashed his teeth and spoke one word at a time, “Have. You. Niced. Enough?”

Hearing that question, the surrounding students broke out in laughter once more.

Li Yundong reluctantly managed to smile. His smile was uglier than a cry, “Enough. It is enough!”

Teacher Liu pointed to the classroom door and said, “Then get lost! I do not welcome students like you!”

Li Yundong wanted to speak but had no words. For a time, he was speechless. Su Chan who wanted to fix the issue stood up and was going to speak, but Li Yundong stopped her and said, “Okay, I am leaving now.”

Li Yundong ignominiously fled the classroom under a deluge of wild laughter. Afterward, Su Chan spoke up full of indignation, “Why are you afraid of him? I can help you teach him a lesson!”

Li Yundong had a face full of tears, “I’m finished. This time, it’s impossible not to become infamous.”

Su Chan drew up her sleeves and tugged at Li Yundong. “Let’s go. I’ll help you teach him a lesson.”

Li Yundong hastily stopped her. He glared at her, wanting to explode, yet he suddenly remembered the tenderness of Su Chan giving him a massage. ‘This girl was doing it for me, wasn’t she?’

His anger dissipated at once. This situation could not be blamed on her. If someone had to be blamed then it was himself!

Li Yundong’s head drooped down, crestfallen. “Forget it. I can’t go to class, so let’s go home. This situation can’t be allowed to escalate, otherwise I’ll be expelled for sure.”

~~~

* Xinglin world – wulin world is for martial arts and xinglin world is for doctors and herbalists.

** xiuzhen – cultivation to become an immortal, whereas xiuxian is cultivation as an immortal, xiuwu is cultivation of martial arts.

*** essential qi – also known as zhen qi: You definitely have seen it in xianxia. Zhen means real, true, genuine that kind of thing. And qi is qi.

**** pearls in the dark – like pearls before swine, cuz no one can see those pearls if they’re in the dark.

***** anoint head with pure cream – buddhist thing that means to be bestowed with enlightenment and it just happens to associate with the top of your head so the author put it here.

****** blossom and splendor are both ‘hua’ in Chinese

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6 thoughts on “Chapter 8: Classroom Massage

    1. It’s a Chinese University, I’d assume it’s an elective. Great for your resume if you’re planning to join the local communist party (Apparently you get benefits, like being a union member, you won’t get laid off first. On the other hand, you’re not allowed to act inappropriately because a communist must be a model citizen at all times. Which Li Yundong failed… pretty hard. If he were a member, he’d probably get expelled for this stunt.) or becoming a politician.

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